Forgiveness is not about you.

I meet with a group of friends weekly to study the gospel. This week, the lesson was on forgiveness, and we looked in depth at the wicked servant in Matthew 18:23-35 who refused to forgive a little when he was forgiven a lot. This parable was sparked by Peter's question to Jesus about how many times should he forgive someone. I was asked to jot down a few thoughts that we had discussed in that meeting. Read the parable if you want to follow my thinking. Here we go:

I am no fan of religion. Unfortunately, I see it creep into my heart constantly and it drives me crazy. And so, after having read this passage, I had a few problems. Something in me just didn't react with wholehearted acceptance. Instead, I was repulsed. It didn't help that the follow-up activity in the lesson asked the following: "Describe your own debt before God. How is it far greater than the debt of the people you need to forgive?"

I have a problem with questions that like. I also have a problem with verses like: "And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?" And: "Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. For if you forgive your debtors, so will your Father in heaven forgive you, and if you do not forgive, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you" (paraphrased). My problem is that in my wicked, twisted heart, I read these verses as threats. I tend to interpret these verses as a works-based, duty-driven, debtor-induced view of forgiveness that seeks to motivate me to forgive by comparing my sin, and how much God forgave me, to the sin of others, and how little I must forgive them. Comparisons like that do not motivate me to forgive, instead they kill any attempt to forgive and love and only lead me to bitterness. This, however, is how I've seen these passages hijacked by religion, and how my heart frequently wants to rebel against the good promises of God. Here's the bottom line: The motivation in this parable and in the lesson seems to flow from a comparison between how much I have been forgiven and what I am asked to forgive. Certainly I owe God more (which he has forgiven) than my friend owes me with his rude remark (whom I ought to forgive). This reasoning does not motivate. It kills.

What motivates is the gospel. The reason why the wicked servant refused to forgive his friend is not because he didn't know that 50,000 denarii (which I hear is a handsome chunk of change) is more than 100 denarii (which is not as much), but rather because he didn't get it. He didn't get grace. He didn't understand the gospel in the first place. He was only concerned with getting out of his own pickle, and then saw the perfect opportunity to get a few bucks by abusing his friend. The two instances are totally unrelated to him because he doesn't get it. He just doesn't see. He's like the stagnant Christian in 2 Peter 1 who is so nearsighted that he is blind and he has forgotten that he was cleansed from his sins. He is nearsighted because when demanding the quarters from his friend he only sees the cash and wants it more than anything. And he has forgotten that he was just cleared a rather large debt and therefore is not overflowing with gratitude and love. But. But he is not a Christian at all. This is why this parable is not a threat. It is only a threat to those have don't get it. A Christian gets it. You cannot be a Christian if you have not tasted grace, been overwhelmed by God's mercy to you, and are spilling over with thanksgiving and joy. This is why verses 34-35 ("And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.") are not a threat to the Christian, but rather a warning to the unbeliever. Only the believer can forgive from the heart because only the believer gets grace. Peter, in this instance, still didn't get it. He was still calculating. He was still comparing. But he did get it. Just read John 21. Oh how he got it then.

And so, we see that forgiving others is not a condition to be forgiven; it is not a duty or obligation. Rather, it is simply a natural outflow of a heart that has experienced great forgiveness by a loving father and now is like the father. We can only forgive because we are his children. "Forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors" is not a plea for God to do his part since we've done ours; instead, it is a humble sinner pointing to his sonship as the basis of his plea. It is saying, "Forgive me because I am your son, and the fact that I forgive proves it."

Comparing my sin with that of others cannot motivate me to forgive. Looking at my sin, or that of my enemies, will never help, because only looking to Jesus can kill my arrogance, flood my heart with inexplicable joy, and move it to eagerly forgive any offense. Hebrews 12 tells us that only looking to Jesus can help us fight sin and temptation. Only looking to Jesus can us help us rejoice in suffering and pain (Phil 1:21). Only looking to Jesus can help us fight rampant materialism (Col. 3:1-4). And only looking to Jesus can motivate a sinful heart to eagerly and completely forgive the most grievous offense, with grace and humble love.

So read Ephesians 1. Get it. And forgive.